I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
