Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
