There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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