Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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