I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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