we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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