He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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