I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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