sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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