And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
