i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
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