Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
you had me at cake vodka
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Randomize
