Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
