I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
It was a blind-side dick pic.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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