Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
