they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
