Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
There's a naked man in my car right now.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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