hell yes lets make some ravioli
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
