See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
