She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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