so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
