a search helicopter?!
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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