butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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