So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
