:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
