i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
