I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
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Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
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The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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