Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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