Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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