Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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