Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
