I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
