I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
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