If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize