Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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