i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
