Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
