Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
