Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
