Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
