I could have mohawked her pubes.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Randomize
