Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
