wakey wakey hands off snakey
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
My underwear smells like fireworks.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I could fuck to npr.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
