So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
