I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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