Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize