I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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