Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
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I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
All I want is dick and wine.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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