Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
