I didn't shave. On purpose
she smelled like a LAN party
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
