I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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