why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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