**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
