i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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