I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
