is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
