It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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