how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
