shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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