Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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