Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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