I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
