I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
