i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Randomize
