The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
It's rum buckets o'clock
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