I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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