I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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