To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
