hell yes lets make some ravioli
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
